Jane's Definition of Love

"'Shall I?' I said briefly; and I looked at his features, beautiful in their harmony, but strangely formidable in their still severity; at his brow, commanding but not open; at his eyes, bright and deep and searching, but never soft; at his tall, imposing figure; and fancied myself in idea his wife. Oh! it would never do! As his curate, his comrade, all would be right: I would cross oceans with him in that capacity; toil under eastern suns, in Asian deserts with him in that office; admire and emulate his courage, and devotion and vigour; accommodate quietly to his masterhood; smile undisturbed at his ineradicable ambition; discriminate the Christian from the man: profoundly esteem the one, and freely forgive the other. I should suffer often, no doubt, attached to him only in this capacity: my body would be under rather a stringent yoke, but my heart and mind would be free. I should have still my unblighted self to turn to: my natural unenslaved feelings with which to communicate in moments of loneliness. There would be recesses in my mind which would be only mine, to which he never came, and sentiments growing there fresh and sheltered which his austerity could never blight, nor his measured warrior-march trample down: but as his wife--at his side always, and always restrained, and always checked--forced to keep the fire of my nature continually low, to compel it to burn inwardly and never utter a cry, though the imprisoned flame consumed vital after vital--this would be unendurable." (p. 380)

This passage shows Jane's true view on love. With purposeful diction, Bronte pinpoints Jane's feelings towards marriage and let's Jane's loyalty shine. This passage is incredibly important to the rest of the novel because it is about Jane's view on marriage as well as service. Jane's opinions are different from other people at the time; she does not believe one can marry without passionate love and thinks that marriage is not an obligation.

Jane takes love from a somewhat practical approach and somewhat passionate. This is proved when she examines St.John and his "features beautiful in their harmony". She acknowledges his handsomeness and yet is not enough to do something as cliche as giving her butterflies. In fact Jane can look past the original attractiveness and see that he is "strangely formidable" with a "still severity". She tries to "fanc[y]" herself as his wife, meaning picturing herself, and cannot. She only wants to be his friend. Even as a friend she shows the utmost loyalty claiming she would "cross oceans" and "toil under eastern suns", but only as "his comrade". The "oceans" and "suns" that Jane would "cross" and "toil" symbolize more than a journey, but the plethora of problems she would have to "cross" and "toil" under to marry and try to love St. John.

Jane sees being married to someone one does not love is torture. Unmarried, Jane's "hear and mind would be free". She says "there would be recesses in [her] mind which would be only [hers]". This shows that Jane sees being married as showing and giving all of oneself up to the other. Nothing is private, all of her thoughts would need to be shared. Since she believes that is what marriage is and cannot live with sharing everything with St. John she cannot marry him.

The most important part is the end. Jane thinks marriage means being "at his side always, and always restrained, and always checked". Jane feeling this way further proves she and St. John are not a good match. In healthy relationships women beings "at [their husband's] side always" is considered her never getting tired of being around her significant other. In a healthy relationship neither person feels they are "always restrained" such as Jane feels. "Always checked" is how happy couples show they care about another, checking to make sure the other is alright wherever he/she is. Jane sees St. John "checking" on her, not as sweet, but as someone trying to "force [her] to keep the fire of [her] nature continually low". Couples help each other burn brighter. Instead of  thinking she can use St. John as a shoulder to cry on, she feels she can "never utter a cry".  Intelligent, sensible Jane sees that entering a marriage with St. John would not only be "unendurable", but also an unhealthy choice because the two of them do not feel or do anything a madly in love or remotely affectionate couple do.