Swear Not by the Crocodile, th'Inconstant Crocodile

HAMLET:
"I loved Ophelia. Forty thousand brothers
Could not with all their quantity of love
Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her? . . .
'Swounds, show me what thou't do.
Woo't weep, woo't fight, woo't fast, woo't tear thyself,
Woo't drink up eisel, eat a crocodile?
I'll do it. Dost thou come here to whine?
To outface me with leaping in her grave?
Be buried quick with her, and so will I.
And if thou prate of mountains, let them throw
Millions of acres on us, till our ground,
Singeing his pate against the burning zone,
Make Ossa like a wart. Nay, and thou'lt mouth,
I'll rant as well as thou."
(5.1.285-301)

As we know, Hamlet is a very complicated man. He is quite obviously depressed, he pretends to be crazy for about half of the play, and it is inconclusive as to whether or not he is actually deranged. It seems sometimes as if his reality is not the same of that of the other characters, and, more often that not, Hamlet's sincerity is murkily expressed. There is no relationship that exhibits these qualities more than the relationship between Hamlet and Ophelia. Hamlet's messages to her are mixed, at best, and he bounces between sending her love letters and telling her that he never loved her. When Ophelia dies, however, Hamlet finally expresses his true love for her in truth or jest, or in sanity or madness.

On the one hand, Hamlet seems to have remarkable clarity in this moment. He is not acting mad, as indicated by the use of blank verse in this scene. Hamlet's intent is to be seen as sane by those around him, and he clearly and simply announces, "I loved Ophelia" (285). This entire speech is very straightforward, and I imagine it being played seriously and intensely, rather than wildly and uncontrolled. The syntax used is simple; Hamlet asks short questions, as seen in lines 291-292, and he makes clear points. His main argument is that Laertes cannot possibly love Ophelia as Hamlet loves her, and that Laertes is dishonoring Ophelia by expressing his false or undeserved affections in the ways that he is.

On the other hand, Hamlet is attacking Laertes with no provocation. In fact, Laertes is much more entitled to be attacking Hamlet, a.k.a. the murderer of Laertes' father. Laertes, also, probably has more cause to love Ophelia than Hamlet does. Hamlet says that "forty thousand brothers / Could not with all their quantity of love / Make up [his] sum" (285-287); yet, family could be said to be closer to a person than a lover could, especially in the setting of a Shakespearean play centered around the subject of familial obligation and dedication. Hamlet is also using his grief for Ophelia to prove that he is better than Laertes, rather than using it to reconcile the two fatherless men. Hamlet asks ridiculous questions of Laertes: "Woo't drink up eisel, eat a crocodile? I'll do it" (292). All of these things that Hamlet is doing and saying, like suggesting that both Hamlet and Laertes join Ophelia in her grave forever, are not things that a sane person mourning a lost lover would do. Once again, we are bound to question the truth of what Hamlet is saying of his love for Ophelia.

Hamlet really is almost unintelligible. His madness, both real and feigned, combined with his clear depression, make him wild and combustible, but he also has very real feelings and loyalties that are unbreakable. This passage presents even more fodder for the mysteries that are his love for Ophelia and his sanity. I don't believe that there is a correct conclusion to draw concerning either issue.