The Patriarchy and the Family

Dedication to Hunger

     1. From the Suburbs
They cross the yard
and at the back door
the mother sees with pleasure
how alike they are, father and daughter--
I know something of that time.
The little girl purposefully
swinging her arms, laughing
her stark laugh:

It should be kept secret, that sound.
It means she's realized
that he never touches her.
She is a child; he could touch her
if he wanted to.

     2. Grandmother
"Often I would stand at the window--
your grandfather
was a young man then--
waiting, in the early evening."

That is what marriage is.
I watch the tiny figure
changing to a man
as her moves toward her,
the last light rings in his hair.
I do not question
their happiness. And he rushes in
with his young man's hunger,
so proud to have taught her that:
his kiss would have been
clearly tender--

Of course, of course. Except
it might as well have been
his hand over her mouth.

     3. Eros
To be male, always
to go to women
and be taken back
into the pierced flesh:

         I suppose
memory is stirred.
And the girl child
who wills herself
into her father's arms
likewise loved him
second. Nor is she told
what need to express.
There is a look one sees,
the mouth somehow desperate--

Because the bond
cannot be proven.

     4. The Deviation
It begins quietly
in certain female children:
the fear of death, taking as its form
dedication to hunger,
because a woman's body
is a grave; it will accept
anything. I remember lying in bed at night
touching the soft, digressive breasts
touching, at fifteen,
the interfering flesh
that I would sacrifice
until the limbs were free
of blossom and subterfuge: I felt
what I feel now, aligning these words--
it is the same need to perfect,
of which death is the mere byproduct.

     5. Sacred Objects
Today in the field I saw
the hard, active buds of the dogwood
and wanted, as we say, to capture them,
to make them eternal. That is the premise
of renunciation: the child,
having no self to speak of,
comes to life in denial--

I stood apart in that achievement,
in that power to expose
the underlying body, like a god
for whose deed
there is no parallel in the natural world.


In this poem, Louise Glück discusses the complexity of social patriarchy in a family. The poem shows four different snapshots of family life and an explanation of the purpose for the poem. Each part of the poem demonstrates a way in which women are oppressed or controlled by patriarchal society, from childhood to marriage. Glück uses "Dedication to Hunger" to critique a system that puts women in a place of disempowerment and that also causes men to feel as if they are both all-powerful and in a constant battle for power.

Glück tells us of the power imbalance between mother and father, man and woman, caused by the inability of fathers to securely claim parentage; this results in abuses of power that eventually construct a patriarchy. The poem begins with a picture of a "father and daughter" playing together, observed by "the mother" (1.3-4). According to Glück, the child has realized that her father "never touches her" (1.11). The following lines imply two things. "She is a child; he could touch her / if he wanted to" (1.12-13). Firstly, these lines imply the sinister threat of pedophelia. "[H]e could touch her / if he wanted to" tells us that the father has the power to physically abuse the child; the line break forces us to pause at a point of tension in the phrase, adding to the dark mood that is already administered by the words themselves. Also implied, however, is a thought that is continued in the third part of the poem. The father and daughter return here, and it is speculated that "the girl child. . . loved [her father] second" to her mother (3.7-11). She expresses no need to him (11-12) because she gets everything she needs from her mother. Therefore, the father has a "desperate" look in his eyes when trying to connect to his daughter "[b]ecause the bond / cannot be proven" (14-16). Unlike the undeniable biological relationship between a mother and child, the fathership of a child "cannot be proven." This is the reason why fathers cannot connect to their children the way that mothers do, and it gives them a power over both mother and child that the mother cannot exert.

Glück also shows how this power imbalance negatively affects the woman in a relationship, further enforcing the ideas of male dominance that are caused by the problems mentioned above. In the second part of the poem, Glück describes her grandmother's relationship with her grandfather. Her grandmother would wait at the door for her husband to come home every day. Glück says that "his kiss would have been / clearly tender-- / Of course, of course" (2.14-16). But she follows this with, "it might as well have been / his hand over her mouth" (2.17-18). While he may be kind and loving, the wife's submission to her husband, in sex (see "his young man's hunger" in line 12 of part 2) and in waiting for him at the door, is a kind of silencing of the female voice. This idea is carried on to the next section of the poem, which begins: "To be male, always / to go to women / and be taken back / into the pierced flesh" (3.1-4). This is the right of a husband, under the patriarchy in the 1970s. Because he is "male," he can always attain sex from his wife or any woman. Glück's language here -- to "be taken back" into a woman's embrace -- implies that it is the expectation that the woman is willing, if her feelings are considered at all. This furthers the power dynamic established in the poem between a husband and his wife, and it takes away the woman's freedom and voice.

Despite all of this, Glück maintains that the patriarchy is not an absolute power. She recognizes the beliefs of patriarchal society -- such as when she notes that "a woman's body / is a grave; it will accept anything" (4.5-7) -- but she actually notices the problematic thoughts that both women and men have, and she challenges them. She says that she feels the burden herself, where she has a "need to perfect, / of which death is the mere byproduct" (4.16-17). Women feel so pressured to be perfect, physically and mentally and behaviorally, that they would die if that was necessary for the image of perfection. But even the title of the fourth part of the poem shows that Glück is seeing things from a different perspective. She is a "deviation" from the normal perspective. In the fifth part of the poem, she states her purpose: to use her poetry to "capture" the facts of her life and deny their truth: for, "the child, / having no self to speak of, / comes to life in denial" (5.3,5-7). In this, she is saying that a child born into a culture of conformity is going to refuse to accept this as a legitimate way of life. This is Glück's message: she hopes to deny the normality and acceptability of the patriarchy in her home using her work.